Freedom Out Of Reach
by ResidentDramaQueen
Summary: You have given me the power to destroy you, Don't think I wont use it' 'You've already destroyed me' she whispered, wiping a fallen tear as he walked out the room. All Edith and Sybil could do was hold in their tears as they watched through the hatch.
1. Chapter 1

Freedom out of Reach.

Summary: Based loosely of the 2x06 trailer: _'You have given me the power to destroy you, Don't think I wont use it' 'You've already destroyed me' she whispered, wiping a fallen tear as he walked out the room. All Edith and Sybil could do was hold in their tears as they watched through the hatch. Who can save Mary from her damned fate with a monstrous man. (Mentions of rape)_

_Matthew/Mary._

_Rating/ M_

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><p>Mary walked along the garden, the sun barely there as night began to set in, she knew that inside Richard would be conversing with her parents, but she didn't want to put on a happy face when she truly didn't want to marry him for her heart lies with Matthew. She knew even if the engagement was broken between her and Carlisle and Matthew would never marry her, it would either because her previous transgressions with Pamuk would disgust him or he would tell her that he couldn't marry her due to his inability to give her children.<p>

'Should you really be out here on your own, it's late' Matthew asked as he wheeled himself over towards her, she smiled at him although it did not reach her eyes.

'Probably not, but here is have somewhere to escape, clear my head' She replied looking up at the dark sky, she knew that she must have been out for over an hour. Matthew touched her arm and she looked down at him.

"You're cold" Matthew noted, she simply smiled and carried on walking.

"Perhaps I should go in then" She walked off leaving Matthew confused, she was never usually this quick to leave, she'd often converse with him for quite a while.

Mary walked into the drawing room, now that the war was over and everyone was now fully recovered Downton had gone back to it's normal everyday life without a hospital bed in sight. Richard walked over grabbing hold of her arm.

"My dear, where have you been?" He also noted the coldness of her arm, he pulled her out of the drawing room without anyone noticing, or so he thought, most were listening to Lord Grantham tell a tale but Sybil and Edith were too busy watching the interaction between Mary and Richard watching as they walked into the library.

"My ladies, The lady Grantham wishes to hear Sybil's stories." They reluctantly walked back into the drawing room.

"Darlings, where were you going?" Their mama asked as they looked at each other instinctively.

"We were going to find Mary" Sybil replied as they stood by the door.

"Well I'm sure you've already told her these stories, You can find her afterwards"

Sybil and Edith both sat down as dread filled them, they knew Sir Richard Carlisle was not to be trusted.

It was quite a while before they could finally slip away and go and check on Mary, they walked into the room that was adjoined to the library and opened the hatch so they could see what was going on.

'You have given me the power to destroy you, Don't think I wont use it' Richard announced as he tucked his shirt back into his trousers, Sybil put her hand over her mouth as she saw Mary lying on the floor, her dress hanging off her.

'You've already destroyed me' Mary whispered, wiping a fallen tear as he walked out the room. All Edith and Sybil could do was hold in their tears as they watched through the hatch. Mary stood up with the help of the bookshelf to her left, she straightened out her dress, Mary had convinced herself that it was all her fault, if she's never have been with Kemal then she would have accepted Matthews proposal and they would have been married, he would never have gone to war and he wouldn't be in a wheelchair right now. She quickly ran out of the study, not noticing anyone or anything as she ran to her room and let out a sob collapsing by the door.

Edith looked at Sybil who of course knew nothing of Mary's past and so held of confusion of her face.

"I shall tell you later, dear sister. But first I must tell someone who should have been told years ago"

"Who?" Sybil asked running after her sister.

"I'm going to tell papa"

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><p>Okay, so I hope you like it, if so please review and If you don't well tell me why you don't like it. This isn't my first story I have another Fanfiction account but this channel will host all of the Downton Abbey stories.<p>

I watched episode 6 last night and goodness me I absolutely hate Sir Richard Carlisle, I think the only way Mary can get out of it is if she tells Robert her dear papa, of course he'll probably shout at her a lot like he did with Sybil last season with the whole suffragette thing going on but he loves his daughters and he wants Mary to marry Matthew so I think he would help her.

Anyway I will update again later today this chapter is short because It's the first one but after this we shall be getting 2k+.

Please Review/Alert/Favourite/


	2. Chapter 2

Freedom out of Reach.

Summary: Based loosely of the 2x06 trailer: _'You have given me the power to destroy you, Don't think I wont use it' 'You've already destroyed me' she whispered, wiping a fallen tear as he walked out the room. All Edith and Sybil could do was hold in their tears as they watched through the hatch. Who can save Mary from her damned fate with a monstrous man. And who will help Mary to get back up. (Mentions of rape)_

_Matthew/Mary._

_Rating/ M_

_Thank you to: Sammyammy, Kissthespider26 and Colourfulskies for reviewing _

"_I'm going to tell papa"_

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><p>"Edith, Mary would never forgive you for it" Sybil gasped as she walked over to the Earl of Grantham's study.<p>

"Do you want our sister to have to live a life in misery, I often resent her for being the older sister but I would never push that upon her." Edith announced before knocking on the door.

"Come in" came their fathers deep voice, Edith breathed In and opened the door leaving Sybil standing outside, she decided to go up to Mary, she knew as well as Edith did that she was the kinder of the two and that Mary would want her more in this moment that she would Edith.

Edith looked at her father nervously.

"What is it?" Robert asked as he looked at his daughter who had an unusual sense of fear surrounding her. She sat down in front of his desk trying to contain her tears.

"You cannot let Mary marry Sir Richard Carlisle" Edith announced looking her father straight in the eye.

"Why, I mean I must admit I do have my doubts about the man but why are you so against it?" He asked, she entwined her hands together.

"You need to save her, she's marrying him so that there wont be a scandal, you see Mr Bates's wife went to Sir Richard telling him a story that she'd found out about. Something that's been kept secret for the past few years." A tear slipped out of Edith's eye as her father's expression changed to worry.

"What is it?" He asked urgently.

"Kemal Pamuk did not die in his bed but in Mary's and she, Mama and Anna carried him to his bed. And Sir Richard knows this but he agreed to Mary her and keep the secret from the papers nevertheless but earlier it seems Sir Richard has started to notice the way Mary looks at Matthew"

"Wait, you mean to tell me that my eldest unmarried daughter has already shared a bed with a man" Edith nodded, Robert stood up but she grabbed his arm.

"That's not all though, me and Sybil were following Mary because we were worried when Mama asked Sybil to tell the stories and when we got away we went into the room attached to library because we knew they were in there and we looked through the hatch and she" Edith bit back a sob "She was on the floor in a state of undress crying, he raped her papa and he said 'You've given me the power to destroy you, don't think I wont use it" Mary normally would say something back, you know how she is she masks her true feelings but all she did was whisper that he already had." Robert fell back in his chair, his beloved daughter, regardless of her mistake needed his help, he felt the anger building inside of him as he though of Richard a guest in his house doing that to his precious Mary.

"You did the right thing in telling me Edith. I Know you and your sister often don't get along but I know you've done this out of love and not as a way to get Mary into trouble."

…

As Sybil got to Mary's room she could hear the muffled sobs through the wooden door, it broke her heart as she walked in Mary was on her bed with her legs pulled up, tears streaming down her face.

"Oh Darling" Sybil whispered, Mary looked up shock on her face as she saw her youngest sister standing there.

"Sybil dear, what do…"

"… I know what he did to you, Edith and I we were worried about you so we followed you but then Mama called us back so I could tell everyone about the stories that one of the patients told me and said that you already knew the stories and that we should search for you after. When we got out we went into the room beside the library to see what was going on through the hatch, but we were too late we saw you on the floor as you whispered that he'd already destroyed you." Mary felt a mix of embarrassment and sadness that her sisters knew what had gone on but as Sybil sat on the bed beside her she rested her on her shoulder and wept even more. "Mary, you can't give up, you are strong, you'll get away"

"I won't I'm indebted to him, If I'd just carried on saying no to Kemal Pamuk then none of this would have happened." Sybil was still unsure of the details but Edith had promised to tell her later.

The door opened again and Sybil looked up to see her parents and Edith. Mary looked up and glanced from Edith to her father.

"Edith what have you done?" Mary asked hysterical as tears ran down her face, Robert looked at his daughter, he'd never seen her this distressed before and it was incredibly unsettling.

"The doors of Sir Richards room have been locked, he is now confined inside of them, whether he is aware of this is do not know. But tell me how could you think that you could handle this by yourself, I could have paid his silence and that would have been that but now he's done this to you and now I have a vendetta on him." Cora walked over to the bed and held Mary in her arms.

"And shouting at Mary is going to help, why do you think she didn't tell you Robert, she already felt disgraced at what she'd done and she hated the fact that she put me through it but she was trying to save this family from ruin, What do you think would happen if it had been posted in the paper, she would never marry, Edith and Sybil would never find good marriages and our reputation and the respect that comes with this family will be lost." Cora tried to reason.

"But if she'd just come to me, I could have helped, I would have been angry but I would have helped and she wouldn't have been raped."

"I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want you to look at me the way you're looking at me right now. Now I wish to have a bath so if someone could get Anna I would be most appreciative." Mary announced, Robert looked at his daughter before walking out, he spotted Matthew who looked a bit confused.

"Sir Richard is banging on the door of his room, it seems to be locked." Matthew announced, granted he didn't like the man but he did wonder what he'd done to deserve such a treatment.

"He'll be lucky if he escapes this house alive after what he's done." Robert ranted as he walked towards the room that held this horrid man, Matthew wheeled himself behind Robert.

"Has he done something to hurt Mary?" Matthew felt his heartbeat speed up at the thought of anyone hurting Mary."I'm afraid he has" Robert replied

…

Cora sat with her daughter for a while longer as Anna filled the bath, a commotion had arisen downstairs as all wondered what was going on upstairs, only Carson and Anna had been called for during this time.

"Darling, is there any risk of you being pregnant?" Cora asked, praying that it was not the case, of course she'd feared that if Mary should marry Matthew that there would be no grandchildren but she would prefer Mary to have no children and be happy rather than the other way around.

"I should hope not Mama, he used lamb skin, how ghastly but I guess he didn't want me to be pregnant until after we were married." Mary

" Good, Don't worry darling Robert will take care of it, he would never allow the marriage to happen." Cora whispered stroking her daughters dark hair.

"The bath is ready no my lady" Anna announced, Mary thanked her and walked into the adjoining bathroom, Anna helped to undress her noting the forming bruises on Mary's body.

Anna sat beside the bath on Mary's request.

"I'm sorry that Mrs Bates is causing you grief" Mary whispered

"Oh, well not anymore, Mr Bates got a telegram earlier saying that his wife had been found dead" Anna announced, Mary nodded, Mrs Bates had caused her a lot of grief too although she didn't want Anna to worry about that.

…

Robert and Mr Carson walked in after Carson unlocked the room. Sir Richard sat at the desk his expression sour as he turned to look at them.

"Do you treat all your guests like this or is this just a special privilege?." Richard asked as they walked further in, Carson locked the door again so that Richard could not escape.

"No this is how we treat men who dare to rape my daughter" Carson had to contain the gasp, he hadn't known of what Richard had done until now and he did think of Mary like part of his family.

"In just a few short weeks she'll be mine anyway, what difference does it make? She's already a harlot" Robert looked at the foul man in front of him.

"Like I would ever allow that to happen. You will leave this house, you shall leave this country and you shall never utter the story of Mary that you know else I shall tell the papers and the police what a type of man you are. And if you don't agree to these terms I will make sure that you go down for a very long time."

….

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><p>So this chapter didn't really show the after affects for Mary and what's its going to do to her mentally but she'd kind of in a state of shock which will soon end when she see's Sir Richard again. Matthew is still unaware of what has specifically happened but obviously he knows something is going on.<p>

The next chapter will see Mary struggling to come to terms with what's happens and all the secrets shall be revealed to those unknowing in the household.

Also do you think Richard will accept?

The reason why Robert is offering him this and now sending him to jail is that he believes Mary's future would be better off this way because the jail path would mean that Mary's past could be become common knowledge and he doesn't want that.


	3. Chapter 3

Freedom out of Reach.

Summary: Based loosely of the 2x06 trailer: _'You have given me the power to destroy you, Don't think I wont use it' 'You've already destroyed me' she whispered, wiping a fallen tear as he walked out the room. All Edith and Sybil could do was hold in their tears as they watched through the hatch. Who can save Mary from her damned fate with a monstrous man. And who will help Mary to get back up. (Mentions of rape)_

_Matthew/Mary._

_Rating/ M_

_Thank you to: DementedWritingGnome, Imaginone and KissTheSpider26 for reviewing. :D_

_It's going to get quite intense just a warning Mary's going to go from being very calm to hysterical._

_Also because obviously no-one is 100% sure that Mary and Kemal did have sex in this story I'm saying they didn't although in the normal DA I believe they did. But even so a man being in her room alone was enough to cause a scandal._

* * *

><p>Richard looked at the man in front of him, he thought he knew the man that Robert Crawley was but apparently not. He'd expected that Robert would simply pay his silence but perhaps Robert would have, had Richard not raped Mary.<p>

"Tell me, why not just have me arrested?" Richard asked curiously, he drummed his fingers against the dark wood of the desk, much to Roberts irritation.

"Because I'm thinking about my daughters future" Robert replied.

…

Matthew was beginning to get annoyed, no one would tell him what was going on, he can't get to Mary because of the stairs and Lord Grantham and Carson have locked the door. He found Edith in the library, she was staring at the floor whilst holding a piece of material, the same material that Mary's dress was made out of.

"Edith" Matthew addressed her slowly and calmly, she was obviously quite shaken up. She turned to look at him. It was evident that she'd been crying. "Edith, what's going on?"

"I can't tell you Matthew, I don't think Mary would forgive me if I told you too, I've already told Papa and she didn't want that"

"You're right Edith, I wouldn't forgive you" They both turned to see Mary, Edith was shocked to see her sister especially in this room. "You two best come out of here, the maids are coming in, Mama has requested that every inch of this room shall be scrubbed tomorrow and no one is to go in until the job has been done." Edith frowned wondering why her sister was acting so calm, but then decided she was obviously being in denial

They started to walk out but Mary stopped abruptly in front of them, frozen. He was still here, still in the house, Sir Richard looked at her and it hit her, what he'd done to her, how much fear she now held.

"What is he still doing here?" She screeched hysterically, tears began to pour down her face as she looked at her father and Carson who were stood behind him.

"Why is he still here? I though you were getting rid of him. I don't want him here." Mary sobbed,

"Now Now Mary" Richard said as her reached over.

"Don't touch me" She screamed and fell to the floor beside Matthew and Edith, she began to sob even more rocking; whispering and murmuring to herself.

Matthew couldn't believe his eyes, Mary who always acted so strong and unemotional was sobbing on the floor, he watched as Carson grabbed hold of Sir Richard and Escorted him out of Downton. What had he done to Mary, of course Matthew had his suspicions, but he prayed they weren't true.

"Mary Sweetheart" Cora knelt in front of her daughter trying to console her. "He's gone my darling, he'll never hurt you again" Cora whispered stroking Mary's long hair. "Come on Darling, Edith I think it will be best if you or Sybil stay with Mary tonight, I fear what she may make of the shadows of the night if she's on her own." Cora announced, she looked at Matthew who had yet to say anything. "Talk to Robert" She told him before she and Edith helped Mary up who was now silently sobbing.

Robert walked back in a little while later, his face looked glum, Carson walked bid him a goodnight and went downstairs.

"Come Matthew, I think it's time you knew the truth" Robert announced as they went into his study. "Now I guess you're wondering what the commotion is all about. Well it seems there has been a great secret in this household for many years to which only a few knew about it." Robert knew that later he would have to discuss the lack of honesty with his wife later.

"The Turkish Ambassador that visited here and died so many years ago did not die in his own bed although he was found there, it seems that he died in Mary's bed and then she awoke Anna and Cora and they carried him back to his bed. I imagine this was the reason to her constant delayed answering your proposal because she told Cora that she loved you and I know she didn't care about the money and now it all makes sense. Anyway as I was saying this secret somehow got out and Mrs Bates found out and she threatened to expose Mary and in the end did attempt to but Mary went up to London to see Sir Richard explaining everything and apparently he was still content on marrying her and from what I've gathered from what Sybil told me upon his visit tonight he has become rather jealous of her longing looks at you because he knows she'd much rather be with you and I imagine the quarrelled in the library and Sybil and Edith were going to go and find them but they were stopped by Cora who wanted Sybil to share the stories of the patients fascinating life and so they were delayed. After that they went to find Mary knowing that she'd been in the library they went into the adjoining room in case they were still arguing and they looked through the hatch but that wasn't the case. Edith told me that Mary was on the floor crying and he was redressing himself." Robert paused and looked at Matthew.

"You don't mean to say that he raped Mary?" Matthew asked, shock overwhelming him.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. Of course if she'd told me all this before I could have paid him off and it would have all been forgotten without this tragic incident happening."

Next day.

Edith had barely slept a wink, she'd been to busy watching Mary sleep and it had scared her when she'd began screaming in her sleep, of course it was natural for Mary to begin to have nightmares but it still sent chills down her spine. She rang the bell and not long after Anna arrived.

"Should we wake her?" Edith asked Anna as they looked at the sleeping Mary.

"I think we'd best leave her, I'm sure if it gets too late someone shall request that she be woken."

"Does everyone downstairs know what's happened?" Edith asked as Anna began to brush her hair. Anna shook her head.

"No my lady, Carson hasn't said anything to anyone much to their disappointment and I'm not entirely sure what's happened anyway. Although Mr Crawley came out of your fathers office, he looked really angry but also as if he were to cry."

"Oh well that's something I suppose, I don't think Mary would have liked it if everyone were to know." Anna had no time to reply before the door opened revealing a fully dressed Cora and Violet Crawley.

"Mama, Granny" Edith exclaimed as she turned around confused, it was little after 7 and they were already up.

"Don't from Edith it's not becoming" Violet ordered, she looked over to the bed where Mary was sleeping and sighed. "She needs to be woken."

"But she's hardly slept, I had to wake her up twice because she was screaming in her sleep." Edith tried to reason.

"Nonsense, Crawley women carry on, it may be hard for her to continue but she needs to tell us what happened. Anna wake her up" Anna nodded before hurrying round to the side Mary was on, she began to shake her lightly. Mary opened her eyes to find everyone staring at her.

…

Matthew hadn't gone home that night, he'd stayed at Downton. His mind raced with different emotions, he was hurt by the lack of trust that Mary had in him with the whole Kemal Pamuk scenario. He was sad that Mary had to endure what had happened last night. But he was mainly angry, angry at Sir Richard Carlisle for doing that to Mary. He was currently sat with Robert at the breakfast table, they were waiting for the girls to come downstairs.

Robert opened the paper and saw the headlines, Richard Carlisle's newspaper had been shut down, he smiled to himself, at least there was some justice.

"What does it say?" Matthew queried as he noticed the headline on the newspaper.

"_His final newspaper, Sir Richard Carlisle reveals all about why he's leaving the business and moving to Spain. _It goes onto say that he realised that he doesn't want to be tied down to one woman no matter how beautiful she may be, he wants to experience different cultures. It's basically one big cover-up" Robert announced, Matthew nodded he was happy that Sir Richard had kept his word and not said anything against Mary. The sat there for a few more minutes before the door opened revealing the rest of the Crawley family including Matthews mother Isobel. Matthew looked at Mary who had her head down in a so un-Mary like fashion. As usual Mary was sat by Matthew, but he could tell she was uncomfortable being there, she was tense and looked as if she just wanted to run out of the room and cry. Matthew thought about the day he let her go, how she'd said that she wanted to say yes. It was all so clear now. She couldn't tell him the truth and so she didn't want to Mary him because she wasn't being truthful.

Carson walked in with a telegram and passed it to Robert, who opened it.

_You got what you wanted, I'm gone. I hope Mary enjoys her nightmares. I'm sure Matthew will want her now. R.C_

Robert scowled and tore it up without a second thought, Cora decided to ask him about it later. But for now they were going to sit and have breakfast like nothings changed.

"Rosamund is coming for a visit, I do hope she doesn't try and stir anything up." Violet announced she looked at Matthew " hear there are signs that you are getting better" Mary looked at Matthew, it had been the best news she heard in quite a while.

"Yes well, Mother says if things keep going the way they are then I will be able to start Physiotherapy to get me walking but that's quite a few months away, I'd say." Matthew announced, Mary smiled and Matthew saw it, he realised how much love she actually carries for him because even when the worst has happened to her, she still manages to smile when something good happens for him.

"Does that mean that you could produce heirs." Violet asked, she hoped that if was the case then maybe there was still a chance for Matthew and Mary.

"Well, I think it's a little bit early to think of things like that, I haven't even gotten out of the wheel chair yet" Matthew announced.

Later on Mary sat on the bench outside, it was a warm day which was quite unusual for England but it gave Mary time to think in the sun, Edith sat beside her.

"How are you feeling today?" Edith asked.

"I don't know, I guess I feel a sense of relief that I know he's in a different country. It's strange really because I often heard that in these cases women were quite scared of Men afterwards, but I'm not. I guess I know that no one in this house would ever hurt me, I don't know how I would feel if we had visitors but for now I'm okay. I'm embarrassed that Matthew knows, because it means he knows about Kemal too because Papa wouldn't have simply told him half a story."

"Mary, was the first time or did you actually sleep with Kemal?" Edith asked, previous to this she'd often called Mary a whore but she didn't know for certain what had actually gone on.

"No" Mary announced, Edith looked at her confused "No Kemal kissed me but he just suddenly froze" Edith frowned.

"Then why was it so important to keep it a secret?" Edith asked her.

"You know that a man simply being in your room can cause a scandal. But that is something that makes me upset, I may have had a man in room that intended on sleeping with me, but I never actually did. I was still virtuous for my husband and now I'm not. Although I doubt I have any chance left, 27 is hardly a suitable age anymore to marry It should have happened years ago."

"I believe you still have hope Mary. There is someone in that house that cares about you deeply and wanted to marry you before I don't see why he wouldn't want to marry you now.

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><p>I hope you liked it.<p>

Next chapter: Downstairs will find out, Mary and Matthew will finally talk about everything.


	4. Chapter 4

Freedom out of Reach.

Summary: Based loosely of the 2x06 trailer: _'You have given me the power to destroy you, Don't think I wont use it' 'You've already destroyed me' she whispered, wiping a fallen tear as he walked out the room. All Edith and Sybil could do was hold in their tears as they watched through the hatch. Who can save Mary from her damned fate with a monstrous man. And who will help Mary to get back up. (Mentions of rape)_

_Matthew/Mary._

_Rating/ M_

_Thank you to: lol978, Kissthespider26, hrhdana, Syblime, Imagione, _

Next chapter: Downstairs will find out, Mary and Matthew will finally talk about everything.

Mary sat in the library, there was little comfort in it but this was a place she'd always enjoyed spending her time, due to her fascination of novels and she wasn't going to let him ruin it. She walked over to the shelves and picked out the story of Andromeda, what a mistake she'd made all those years ago. Richard was the sea monster and Matthew was Perseus, if only she'd known back then.

"And what would you be reading, Lady Mary" speak of the devil, Mary thought, this often happened, one single thought about Matthew and he would often just end up being there.

"The story of Andromeda, although I'm afraid the characters have changed." Mary replied before sitting in one of the chairs, he looked slight awkward, like he didn't know what to say. "I'm still me Matthew" she announced.

"I just don't get how you can act as if nothings happened" Matthew expected her to be more distant and closed off.

"Well that's just what he wanted and you know me Matthew, I never do what I'm told. I won't let him change me." Mary began to read the book making Matthew wonder.

"Why have the characters changed?" Mary smiled and closed the book, she turned to face him.

"He is the true sea monster, not you that was me being bitter and sharp when you first came, you were after all stealing my inheritance."

"So who is Perseus." Matthew asked as he remembered the first dinner he'd ever shared with them and how the dowager countess had gasped at Mary's blatant talk of nakedness.

"It would not do one any favours to presume, after all, Who is my knight in shining armour?" Mary asked, she knew that Matthew would always be her Perseus but she couldn't very well say it due to his lack of faith in himself these days.

"I'm glad you're still keeping me around mind" Matthew frowned, he hadn't understood what she meant "Well when you still weren't strong enough to push yourself and we were in the garden you said that if I wasn't engaged you wouldn't let me be around you."

"Is it my fault?" Matthew asked suddenly, Mary shook her head.

"No his actions were his own but what triggered them was my fault, he knew that I would much rather be with you than with him. He even suggested to mama that she bring Lavinia back, of course mama didn't because she thought you could decide that on your own." Matthew nodded, he was glad that Lavinia hadn't been brought back because now that he knew the real reasons that Mary didn't accept his proposal and he was supposedly on the mend, perhaps there is hope for them.

"Why didn't you tell me Mary, about Kemal?" Mary lowered her head, she knew this issue would come up, it was like a time bomb waiting to explode.

"I was ashamed of myself, with Richard I knew he wasn't as honourable as you therefore I didn't feel guilty about keeping it secret well until Mr Bates's wife Vera who's now dead went to Richard with the story starting the whole blackmail thing that he had over me. But you everyday you would do something that would just make you a better man in my eyes and I not worthy of it. And how was I supposed to tell you that a man came into my bedroom and kissed me and then died. It was scandalous for him to even be there without even mentioning what he said to me, that would make Granny blush." Matthew stared out of the window for a while taking everything in.

"You didn't sleep with Kemal"

"In black in white, I was still virtuous until last night." This made Matthew's blood boil, Richard had taken it.

"I don't think I shall ever marry now"

"I don't believe that Mary, you will marry, if it not for my lack of movement past my waist I would marry you.""No Matthew" Mary disagreed. "You would marry Lavinia" Mary stood up resolved to the fact that she wasn't going to end up reading the book.

"I love the idea of someone loving me and that's what I loved about Lavinia the fact that I knew she loved me. Whereas with you I was and still am in love with you there's a difference. Settling for second best." Mary didn't know whether to believe him or not, after everything had happened how could he possibly still love her?

"Why, I'm damaged goods, I don't see why you should want me" Matthew ran a hand through his hair, he knew it wasn't going to be easy, convincing Mary that he wants her.

"I know you may not believe me now, but one day you will" Matthew decided to leave at that point, they'd said everything they needed to say and now Mary could think things over.

Later on, Matthew was talking to William (I wasn't going to let him die now was I?) who although there was the difference between them had grown closer during the war.

"I just wish I'd gotten that chance to hit him, get my anger out on the man who did that to Mary" Matthew complained as his anger towards that man was still fresh.

"Would it have done any good though sir?" William asked, Matthew may have forgotten William's station, but he sure hadn't.

"He took Mary's honour, her virtue, when he had no right. And it would give me some comfort that I'd defended her but last night I was so shocked when she just froze, she was petrified as she saw him. I've never seen Mary like that before." William nodded, not knowing what to say, he didn't know how he would feel if something like that happened to daisy.

"Well Sir, Carson will be expecting me to be down to go and pick up the meals for lunch." Matthew nodded, as William stood up and walked back downstairs. He noticed Anna and stopped her.

"Did you know what the reason for Richard Carlisle's sudden banishment was?" William asked as they stood beside the staircase, there was no one around as most were doing their duties."No, I don't think Mary wanted to talk about it and Edith and Sybil were pretty shaken up about it" William understood that but he knew as well as Anna knew that as much as he tries he's terrible at keeping a secret.

"Sir Richard raped Mary"

"Oh that poor girl" O'Brian suddenly commented as they turned, Anna knew then that everyone would know, O'Brian would tell Thomas who would tell everyone. William bit his lip, he knew he could tell Anna because she was likely to find out anyway, but he'd hoped that would be all that knew.

"Don't worry about it William, everyone would have found out eventually anyway" Anna whispered as O'Brian walked away.

William nodded reluctantly, Matthew had placed his trust in him so he would hate for that to be lost.

…

Cora didn't know what to do, this latest issue meant that Mary was still not getting married and every day that passes is one less day of bearing children, being a good a dutiful wife. But she didn't want to push Mary after what happened last night, and truly she didn't really want Mary to marry Richard. But could she count on Matthew getting better and giving Mary a chance.

"Cora, we need to talk about Mary" She'd been expecting this, she couldn't have imagined that he wouldn't ask her about that night. "Why didn't you tell me? I would have been ashamed of Mary's actions but I would never have disowned her. I would have got past it and helped her when people like Sir Richard Carlisle started blackmailing her"

"I was in shock that I had to carry with Anna and Mary a man the whole length of the house, I wasn't prepared to give you a heart attack."

"How did he even get there?" Robert asked, it wasn't likely that Kemal had time to search around the house and he doubted Mary would tell him where to go. "It must have been one of the servants, we should ask Carson who was looking after Kemal that day." "How is Mary today?"

"Well apparently, Cousin Isobel went to go and look for Matthew, but noticed as she opened the library door that he and Mary were talking." Cora hoped that Mary would have happiness once she gets over the rape and it seems that Matthew is prepared to be there for her.

Well this was definitely later than I wanted to update, but I've honestly been so busy but hopefully after this chapter is posted I will get the next one out soon after.

Next Chapter: The Spanish flu hits Downton.


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